Tuesday, October 11, 2011

I HATE THIS SH**(F**** it can I use foul language?)PT1

Well ok it has been awhile.....alot of you talk to me or read about me @ Facebook. So you pretty much know I've been going through some crap......pain from the car accident it is so bad I have many days I just don't wanna get outta bed. Standing and walking getting really bad.....and (DON'T tell hubby but I have been falling alot)
So with all that crap what happens? well you all know (or maybe not) my dad passed away last April and we have been going through the estate. Well oldest sister and brother and fighting us....first they tried to say youngest sister char killed our father......but they went to the doctors for the report and low and behold found char did nothing wrong. OK so now they are saying we aren't telling them about all the banks. WHAT!? OH Fu...You. You all want the truth? I will give you the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Where to start......at the beginning is the best......dad married wife 1 had 2 children 1 girl 1 boy. they got divorced and dad married wife 2 (Our mom) and had 3 more girls. Now mind you every divorced couple will not agree about their life's together so you really cant believe who did or didn't do what.....But all my life I listened to my father talk about how bad wife 1 had been she cheated bla bla bla ok? ok! Now dad wasn't perfect by no means...oh no no no...the man abused us girls(sexually) I had locked it so far into the back of my that when my sisters talked about it I called them liar's it took me a long time to work it all out after I got married after my sister and I lost 10 years of being with each other because of our dad....and alot of thanks goes to my hubby he has a computerized mind and he watched me and her and dad and he listened to us then he threw stuff at me till I had that AH HA moment. after that it came to me in pieces. I still had a lot of problems believing but then several things came to mind alot about how every time I told them something that was true they would tell me I had a very vivid imagination. So in a sense I had been ut down by them at every turn. I had no confidence in my self and I'm totally surprised I got married. But back to the tale...now my youngest sister and I were here with mom and dad all the time neither one of us moved away. (I did 3 yrs after mom died to South Dakota but I wasn't far enough to not be here when needed and it was with my dad's blessings) And here what happened mom got sick....she wanted to die at home...I said I would take care of my parents when time came. so I moved out there to help dad and care for mom.....she died 9 days after her 64th birthday. I stayed with dad for about 2 weeks after living in my childhood home and made sure I was up there at least every other day to check on him till we moved in 99. but we came back often till we ran outta money. BUT the day my sister called me in 2004 and told me dad had a heart attack I first called hubby...then I made arraignment's for people to care for my 2 grandsons whom I was caring for in South Dakota. and I came home. I drove 380 miles home on Feb 14th 2004 in a blizzard. yep in a BLIZZARD. I had left my grandchildren basically in the care of strangers till hubby came home as he had been driving OTR and was out in Oregon and it would take 2-3 days to return home to get the kids 2 to 3 days I didn't have to wait I needed to be with my youngest sister and our FATHER. No matter what the man did to us he was still our father our daddy. When dad got home he had several rules to follow which he forgot very quickly and I was there to remind him not to do this or make sure you take your medicine or what ever....we talked about nursing home but dad said put me there I die. So then we talked about hiring nurses to come stay with him would have had to been 24 hrs at that time. it was more than we could afford. dad may have had money but not that kind of money. By this time hubby was there and we sat trying to figure out what the hell to do......ok now wait a minute what about the older two kids? Sister has a dog and bird of some sort ok but cant she put them in care with some one? or bring them? NOPE that was her answer. So we called big brother now he has several birds and a cat who was sick and he didn't wanna leave her. what? ok so hubby said to all of us there which was dad my sister and her hubby and me and him. he said well if dad could pay me to stay home and take care of the kids till they get outta school I could stay there and take care of him.....and it was agreed! So I moved in with dad hubby went home and took care of grands and all was good. Then the calls started both older sister and brother wanting to know who was caring for daddy.Oh they were so happy I was. Then the calls started dropping off and now it was daddy calling them. things went on till the day dad started a fight with me. and he kicked me out by calling the police then said go some place till he cools off then come back.....thing was he went 2 yrs not letting us back in the house unless youngest sister was there. BUT oh let me tell you what he did to me......instead of telling people including my siblings that he kicked me out he told them I had abandoned him so no matter how many times I told them what dad had actually done they didn't believe me they believed him!!!!! several neighbors out there still hold a grudge against me. I really don't care I know the truth and that's that! So ok now youngest sis and I are checking on dad often her going over on Sunday's Tuesday's Thursday's and me the other days. then I missed a couple weeks due to car accident and then there were a few more weeks off and on where I just couldn't drive even down the driveway because I was in so much pain. Youngest sis was still going over and dad was still doing ok for himself. Then one day when I was having a really good day I drove out to dad's. He was sitting in the living room on a kitchen chair facing the street...(well ok he did this to watch for the mailman so to me that was normal) EXCEPT he had his hat and jacket on. I asked if he was going some where and he said my brother was coming and he was gonna take him to lunch. So I sat with dad. after half and hour I said hey dad lets you and I go on up and when he gets here he'll call me on his cell and we will tell him to meet us up there. So dad agreed. we went to lunch and I called brother and asked him when he was due here. ????? Well surprise surprise he was still at home and wasn't planning to come up. I told dad and he told me oh he must'va got lost. I said no he's at home he's not coming. Many many months dad kept saying brother was on his way and brother wasnt coming...when ever I talked to him he couldnt leave his sick cat. (WOW his cat was more important than his own father) well life went on and next thing we knew social services were out there and they condemned the house.......now mind you this house had been like this all our lifes and yes we know it shouldnt have been that messy or dirty but we were used to it we cleaned up the main parts but as for the rest well lets just say when mom and dad went out to auctions and there was stuff no one else wanted they would buy it for a buck and our home soon was cluttered with stuff that might be worth something some day. And dad (even mom when she was alive) knew where everything was. Now a days they could almost be called hoarders with the exception that there was more room to walk than a path and you could always sit down, or find a place to sleep. some time you had to move something dad had been working on but that wasnt new to us. Now we are in a tizzy dad's home condemned and he couldnt live here but he could live with youngest sister. So there he went. Now sis has a split level compared to dads one level. dad knew how to move around the stuff including the cats and dog at sis's he rarely left the bedroom except to eat go to the bathroom or go out to the doctors. He begged me several times to take him home and I cried but told him no. Dad too wanted to die at home but now he wasnt allowed to go home. Then he misjudged the bed and fell and broke his hip. that was his down fall......his alzheimers was worse and he was more confused than ever so when he was put into the nursing home for recovery after the surgery he thought we left him there and he gave up completely. then he came to my home his last few days and died here. Now mind you in a sense he had died at home....he helped put the addition on this house so to him this was the big house and he built part of it so it was like being in his own home. Then came the funeral where oldest sister came brother did not. Oldest sister said two things to piss us off. 1st thing she said was I was daddy's little girl till you guys came along and second thing she said was she had called social services because dad told her we werent feeding him. So Now ok I let the first one slide after all she didnt have any more control than us over who dad married and stayed married to than we did. BUT when she told me the second I thought to my self you killed our father. if he had never been removed from his house the house he knew like the back of his hand he probably never would have fallen(cause only other time he fell was winter when he put a piece of plywood out the back door so the dog didnt have to climb steps only for it to get so slippery that he fell)he would never went to the nursing home were he thought we left him at(even though we visited him there alot including his 91st birthday) and he might still be here today....because this man was more alive at 91 than most people at 60. He had energy he was still building stuff by hand no less and then she sends in social services................................Part 2 tomorrow