Monday, June 16, 2014

I think I understand anorexic people

Now I think this might draw a lot of criticism for this blog post.
But now I do believe I understand anorexic people.
They look in the mirror and see them selves as fat.
Well, I can now understand that. Especially if they are over weight when they start out.
I weighted in at 260 lbs.
I was hurt in a car accident, and can't do any form of exercise. I hurt so badly. When I spoke to the doctors they all said same thing if you lost some weight it will help your knees, hips,feet even though I still have arthritis but would hurt lots less.
My first problem was when I became dehydrated. The nurse wanted to put me into the hospital right at that minute. I said no I couldn't I had to babysit grandchildren. she said she would let me go home only if I drank lots of water. But I told her I hated water. She said either I go home to drink water or go straight into the hospital.  So I went home got a glass of ice water and took small sips. Soon I was emptying glass after glass of ice water.
Then I cut out soda pop. Oh I still drink some when I get really stressed, but for the most part I've given up pop.
That was when I noticed I lost some weight. and so did my doctor.
My next small victory came when I got sick. I couldn't eat. and by the time I was back to almost myself again I couldn't eat like before. As soon as I felt full I stopped eating. Mainly because my stomach was still on the touchy side so I just couldn't eat much.
And I lost more weight.
I had to go out and buy some new clothes.
BUT ................when I looked at myself in the mirror I couldn't see where I lost any weight. Oh I knew I had the scale said so. I actually lost 69 lbs. But looking in the mirror I couldn't see where. Which makes me want to eat even less and try to loose even more. That is sort of the mind set of an anorexic person. They can't see that they've lost weight either so they eat and throw up. I want to loose more weight as well BUT NO WAY WILL I EVER EAT THEN THROW UP! Even though I CAN'T SEE WHERE I'VE LOST ANY WEIGHT.
I will continue to do the same thing I am doing now I will drink more water, eat less, and cut back more of the junk foods, I still have been eating things like Ice cream and Cheetos. Once I get them out of my diet I think I will loose even more. In my head I have a goal of 160 which is only another 30 lbs to loose.
But I really really want to get all the way back to 130 lbs. Then I will be happy once again.
Oh yes and the doctors were right, even though I have arthritis and still hurt, loosing this weight has helped my knees and hips and feet!