Monday, November 09, 2009

Are you freaking kidding me?

So I've a little run with with a family member again! I swear some days I just wish that I had no family. But you know I love my "family" it just extened family that I can do with out. Now this family member is not a child,but sure acts like one. We had words and I guess what I said hurt them. Then they proceeded to say I'm going to my imediate family i.e. mom dad sister hubby. and show then what you said.
OMG just let it go.
1st off they are just words they sting but really dont hurt and if they hurt maybe you should stop and think what did you say to them? If you think the words hurt come stand in front of me and let me slap you up along the side of your head and see what you say about that. Right now in my head there are like a billion times here I would like to use a swear word! And granted I believe I have every right, but Im not sinking to their level.
On facebook they have a spot next to your name and you write what your doing/feeling and today I said Is wondering if we can take a pencil and erase our mistakes why cant we use it on certain family members and erase them outta our lives?
There were a few who agreed with me that that would be nice because it would make their lifes better.
And OH I KNOW that god throws these people these family members in our way for a reason. But for the life of me I dont know why! I know the chinese familys are very close knit and I often wonder if they ever have someone in their close knit family that they would like to be someplace else? And I wonder what they do when they face some one that is difficult? do they say words that are hurtful? Or do they do something more drastic? and are they willing to tell me? lol
But as I requested and I really hope they follow through, I want no part of said family member in any way shape or form.
after all if someone were to upset me with hurtful words I wouldnt go tell my parents ,sisters, hubby OH HECK NO.......I'd blog all about it!!!!

Saturday, November 07, 2009

It's been 13 yrs but.....

I still miss my mom like hell. Today's my mom's birthday. She would have been 77 today. Not a day goes by that I dont miss her. In fact I would love it if she were her when her 2nd great granddaughter had been born. I know had she lived those greats would have been spoiled more than what grandma and grandpa do. She was alive when our oldest grandson was born but by that time she was so sick, that she never got to enjoy him. Worse part was my sister had a baby just 3 months before my grandson was born so it was difficult for her having 2 babies at the same time and not be able to enjoy them like I know she would and could have had she not been sick. How I miss her. It is ever more difficult now around this time of year. Thanksgiving and Christmas was her time of year. She was one for getting the family rallied around. Oh we had those family members which we would rather have never had to speak to again, those family members who we spoke to but watched all our silver, and those family members who were ok to socialise with just one time of the year and those family members whom we only spoke with by phone. But somehow mom managed to keep in touch with them all regardless of our opinions. Because at this time of year no matter if you were considered part of the black sheep of the family you were family and mom made sure she included you for just one day of the year. There are many family members who thought my mom was an angel and she was she really was but not the reason they think. Mom would but her true feelings for these family members to the back and just celebrated the day with her family. She would talk laugh and get mad then yell then swear she was never gonna do it ever again. lol. I cant remember hom many times I heard next year Im not cooking. Yet next year would come and she would be the first to start preparing for Thanksgiving. Mom always made goose. and this oyster thingy that if she ever had a recipe for it she kept it well hidden. BUT alas I was a good (choke) daughter and helped her every year so I knew how she made it. But to be honest I asked her one year (thankfully before she got sick) how it was made and she told me so I can make it now. I have gone online and did a search for a recipe because I just wasnt sure of amounts and found one. so I can make it. When Mr Gab and I were first married and we went there for thanksgiving Mr Gab asked her one day where the turkey was. Mom got very angry and said no turkey just goose. And Mr gab the sweetheart that he is goes but I want turkey isnt that what Thanksgiving is about the turkey? OH I LOVE THAT MAN! Let's start trouble with your inlaws at the dinner table. Well, mom calmly said you want turkey you buy it and make it yourself. And so the next year Mr Gab bought the turkey and brought it with for me to cook. yeah with one oven it was a little hard to cook both. We all ate the goose at dinner time and the turkey alot later. Then we discovered the microwave. I had to try cooking a turkey about 3 times before I had it the way we wanted it to be. Once I had mastered that we would buy a turkey and the ingreadents for stuffing and loaded it all and my microwave into the car and take it all to mom's. Set it up and most of the time had to let the microwave warm up before starting to cook. But that was ok cause all I needed was 9999 to cook the turkey. Yep that is the cooking time needed for a 10lb turkey. And boy do I miss my microwave. It's still in SD. So I cook it in the oven here. I tried this microwave, but its kinda small and it takes like forever. I just dont know what the differences are but if anything ever happens to my one in SD I sure hope I can find one like it to cook my turkeys.
Another time and I swear I do love Mr Gab but honestly he is too direct when he should be more meek and he isnt and so one saturday at dinner my mom cooked macaroni and tomatoes. We are all done eating and sitting at the table chatting when Mr Gab says to my mom have you ever thought of adding hamburger to that? And my dad was like oh hey that sounds good add some meat to that. OH BOY OH BOY did my mom get mad!!! Under her breathe she was like we've ate it this way for years then you come in and upset it all! But the next time she made macaroni and tomatoes she added hamburger.
When Mr Gab and I were dating my mom was the one on our side. My dad didnt like Mr Gab at know no man good enough for his daughter. anyways my mom was the one who ran interferance so Mr Gab and I could go out. And when we got married my mom was there at the wedding but not my dad. He claimed he couldnt take off work. But he has come around....especially when Mr Gab could do carpenter work, and was willing to take his weekend to work with my dad on many different projects. I know on more than one occasion my dad tried to scare Mr Gab off even after we got married. But my mom to the rescue again. She pointed out 1) did you really wanna make me unhappy? 2) did you really wanna do it by yourself? 3) if you scare him off she will be moving back in with baby n all! Thats all it took. By our 10th wedding anniversary I think my dad finally realised that we werent a fly by night marriage that we truely love each other and planned on staying together no matter what he threw at us.

Ive gotten off the subject which was HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM WHERE EVER YOU ARE.
I miss you and love you lots

Wednesday, November 04, 2009


One of our favorite bloggers has a birthday to day. so in true gab fashion

and many more!

Hope you day is great BB and hope that special girl makes it even more special. (wink)

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

I just wish for one day

That my mom could come back and talk to some people and tell them she really felt about certain things. And some people would be really hurt but maybe they would wake up! But I doubt it. I'm pretty sure that even if she told them right to their face they would think she wasn't
talking about them I swear my life would be a whole lot easier if some people who claim to be family would just stay out of my life. Yep we are back to that again. I swear I thought I learned my lesson the first time. But no I gave them another chance. Oh when will I ever learn? These people never change the are still all most just like they were at 13. Only worse cause now they are older and more blind.
Oh yes welcome back my bitching post.
I had already planned to come back and write again but this just pushed me and pushed me and pushed me. Oh the things I could say, about this family.
But you know some would say let it go its old history. Well hell honey I would if some people would stop bringing it up. And the thing that really pisses me off the most is she uses my dear departed mom as her life saver. I have up to this point held my tongue but if she knew really how my mom felt about her...THE TRUTH well I doubt that it would even sink in she is so delusional. When she was younger and had a baby and had been drinking she would show up at our house crying cause her mom was "such a bitch". My mom tried to get her out...she thought she was a bad influence on my youngest sister C. My mom would call her mom to please come get her out of her house only to have her mom (my mom's youngest sister) yell at her please let her sleep it off there. after all you don't want her out there drunk and driving with a baby in the car.My mom always wondered how her own sister could let her go out there drunk and drive with the baby and did nothing to stop her but expected my mom to do it. So as much as my mother hated her being there drunk like that mom "let her sleep it off" and watched the baby. Afterwards my mom would tell us she wishes her sister could take care of her own kids and keep that brat away from our house. It got so bad cause she would show up often and always drunk and always with her baby daughter. My mom would actually go out the back door go to the neighbors and "hide out" After awhile when it was apparent that no one was going to control or "help" that kid she started to call the police to stop her and hopefully take her to detox. Which never helped cause as soon as she was let out she was back drinking. I remember one time mom was hiding and my sister D came home and my mom had to run out, my mom was steaming. Now she had to deal with a drunk again. So later my mom called the "school" where my sister D went and then the bus company to see if D could be last one off the bus. They were not sure why my mom would request her daughter to ride around town for an hour and a half before they would bring her home when she was the first drop. But mom knew that "she" would come around the time D came home then pass out. So with D not coming home till 4 30 - 5, mom could hide out more. It worked.."she" would come there would be no one home and she would leave. Mom would call the police let them know and then leave it up to them to deal with her. My mother would tell her sister to please take care of her own daughter as my mom already had enough to do with her own daughter who was born handicapped. But each day her sister would "cry" that there wasn't anything she could do cause her daughter was a strong head snot who thought she knew it all. I was glad when I got married. But I sure worried about my mom left to deal with her sister and her daughter when she had her own 2 kids to care for.
And don't get me started on why I stopped babysitting for them when they were smaller. OMG I know that denial is so larger in that side of the family that they would call me the lier. But you see when I get to the gates I don't have to worry about God saying do you remember when......then look at me stern like and oh don't you even dare to try and pull one over on me my child I seen all. Nope I can walk up there and be told I'm sorry child for all that you endured.

Sooooo If it come to push comes to shove I will shove back and I will let out all the dirty little secrets. I have no problems telling all. and what I know is stuff you dont want the whole world to know but that will not stop me if you push me. I have a few things in my closet but just about every one knows those things you on the other hand dont know half of the story. But I will be glad to tell you and the whole world about your closet. Including the lie your mother has been spreading about me.