Tuesday, November 03, 2009

I just wish for one day

That my mom could come back and talk to some people and tell them straight....how she really felt about certain things. And some people would be really hurt but maybe they would wake up! But I doubt it. I'm pretty sure that even if she told them right to their face they would think she wasn't
talking about them I swear my life would be a whole lot easier if some people who claim to be family would just stay out of my life. Yep we are back to that again. I swear I thought I learned my lesson the first time. But no I gave them another chance. Oh when will I ever learn? These people never change the are still all most just like they were at 13. Only worse cause now they are older and more blind.
Oh yes welcome back folks.......to my bitching post.
I had already planned to come back and write again but this just pushed me and pushed me and pushed me. Oh the things I could say, about this family.
But you know some would say let it go its old history. Well hell honey I would if some people would stop bringing it up. And the thing that really pisses me off the most is she uses my dear departed mom as her life saver. I have up to this point held my tongue but if she knew really how my mom felt about her...THE TRUTH well I doubt that it would even sink in she is so delusional. When she was younger and had a baby and had been drinking she would show up at our house crying cause her mom was "such a bitch". My mom tried to get her out...she thought she was a bad influence on my youngest sister C. My mom would call her mom to please come get her out of her house only to have her mom (my mom's youngest sister) yell at her please let her sleep it off there. after all you don't want her out there drunk and driving with a baby in the car.My mom always wondered how her own sister could let her go out there drunk and drive with the baby and did nothing to stop her but expected my mom to do it. So as much as my mother hated her being there drunk like that mom "let her sleep it off" and watched the baby. Afterwards my mom would tell us she wishes her sister could take care of her own kids and keep that brat away from our house. It got so bad cause she would show up often and always drunk and always with her baby daughter. My mom would actually go out the back door go to the neighbors and "hide out" After awhile when it was apparent that no one was going to control or "help" that kid she started to call the police to stop her and hopefully take her to detox. Which never helped cause as soon as she was let out she was back drinking. I remember one time mom was hiding and my sister D came home and my mom had to run out, my mom was steaming. Now she had to deal with a drunk again. So later my mom called the "school" where my sister D went and then the bus company to see if D could be last one off the bus. They were not sure why my mom would request her daughter to ride around town for an hour and a half before they would bring her home when she was the first drop. But mom knew that "she" would come around the time D came home then pass out. So with D not coming home till 4 30 - 5, mom could hide out more. It worked.."she" would come there would be no one home and she would leave. Mom would call the police let them know and then leave it up to them to deal with her. My mother would tell her sister to please take care of her own daughter as my mom already had enough to do with her own daughter who was born handicapped. But each day her sister would "cry" that there wasn't anything she could do cause her daughter was a strong head snot who thought she knew it all. I was glad when I got married. But I sure worried about my mom left to deal with her sister and her daughter when she had her own 2 kids to care for.
And don't get me started on why I stopped babysitting for them when they were smaller. OMG I know that denial is so larger in that side of the family that they would call me the lier. But you see when I get to the gates I don't have to worry about God saying do you remember when......then look at me stern like and oh don't you even dare to try and pull one over on me my child I seen all. Nope I can walk up there and be told I'm sorry child for all that you endured.

Sooooo If it come to push comes to shove I will shove back and I will let out all the dirty little secrets. I have no problems telling all. and what I know is stuff you dont want the whole world to know but that will not stop me if you push me. I have a few things in my closet but just about every one knows those things you on the other hand dont know half of the story. But I will be glad to tell you and the whole world about your closet. Including the lie your mother has been spreading about me.

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