Tuesday, May 26, 2009

When I was a kid - against all odds.

When I was a kid I thought that having a handicapped sister/brother was normal. I thought all families had one,little did I know that our family was unique. When my sister D was born she had many special needs. They told my parents she would probably die before she was three. When she made it to her third birthday they said she wouldn't live past 13. This Sept 17th she will turn 50.

I remember when I was in Jr high (now called middle school) one of my teachers in health class was talking about special needs children and to me the way it sounded was like she was putting them down and shunning them. She asked if any of us knew any special needs kids? I kept my mouth shut, cause if she didn't like these kids I wasn't gonna tell her about my sister. But a neighbor from up the street shouted out about me having a handicapped sister in a wheelchair. So the teacher asked me what her problems were. So I told her she was mentally retarded and had CP. The teacher nodded and said yes that's what her brother had and was in the hospital that day fighting for his life.The next thing she said surprised me. She said that if every parent had one "normal" child and one "special needs" child more people would be compassionate. I had a new insight to that teacher because she understood. The next day she wasn't there in fact she never returned. You see her brother passed away that day right about the time we were talking about him. My teacher quite teaching what she called "normal" children and went to teach "special needs" children.
I have always defended my sister. Anyone who stared at her I would tell them to take a picture. People who whispered and stared I would tell them to get a life and leave us alone. I'm sorry to say that I also used some not so nice four letter words! Because to me my sister was a VIP.
Once my youngest sister came along and she wasn't a special needs person, but mom needed help taking care of her so she could deal with the things that had to be done on a daily basis for sister D sister C was now my responsibility. Which was ok with me.
What surprises me the most today is that we accept all people with special needs as just another person. Back when my sister was little many many people including the doctors who cared for her kept telling my parents to lock her in the hospital for people with special needs. My parents checked out one of those hospitals and actually left my sister for a week but they couldn't stand knowing she was there with all those other people with problems. You see even though D had many problems and special needs my parents pretty much acted as if she was just like anyone else. Oh sure she did get treated a little more special than myself and sister C but for crying out loud we never felt that she was any better than us, but maybe just a little worse off than us. To us she was "normal"
And even though we are just getting going into summer I can't wait till Sept! Those doctors would be shocked if they were still alive that sister D has lived much longer than they ever gave her hope for.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Got scared half to death

Doctors office called on Tues. Nurse told me they found something on one of my test I gotta come in on Friday. I say ok hang up and start to worry. The only test I could think it could be was the Mammogram. Then my head went into a spin. Oh god they found something and I will need chemo or something. Maybe they will have to remove one, Ooooh GOD! I mean I know I complain about them alot but dang to have one or maybe both removed? Could I deal with that? Look on the bright side, I thought to my self, no more bras, no cutting straps in the shoulders, no back pain. But would Mr Gab still love me I thought? Oh I cant wait till Friday I'm gonna go crazy.

Friday comes. I go to the doctor's. She weighs me and does blood pressure and pulse and in my head I'm screaming get on with it DAMN IT!
She turns on the computer and brings up my tests and starts talking. I have osteoporosis, and they need me to start a medicine that I would take once a week.
What? wait my heads in a fog. What did you just say?
So she tells me again and tells me that for the next 6 months I should be extra careful not to fall because my bones are so thin (brittle) that I could be hurt seriously bad! She laughs and says thank goodness its not winter because if it was I'd tell you to stay indoors the whole winter to give your bones a chance at building back up. Now I'm gonna tell you just be extra careful, we don't want you to fall.
Well hell I don't want to fall either but dang scare a person half to death will you. So I asked why couldn't they tell me this on the phone? She says privacy reasons. They can no longer tell certain things over the phone, she even told me that certain tests we have done the results can no longer be told over the phone. Guess there's too many "listeners". Now I can maybe see that with cell phones but land phones?
So once I finally get my head more cleared and she tells me the medicine she wants to start me on and that I need more Vitamin D and Calcium taken daily and she will see me in a month unless this medicine has an ill effect on me. I say oh wait. I then tell her about when I did the colonoscopy and what happened when I drank the magnesium citrate and the effects it had on me. And she said yes it sounds like your allergic to it so one more thing to add to your list of things to be highly aware of. And not to take.
Then she walks outta the room and I'm left thinking this was so wrong. They should have been able to give you a hint of what was wrong like maybe say Oh they found something on your bone density test. Then I wouldn't have worried half as much. But then again maybe I would have anyways.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009


I was reading the other blogs that I have in my left side bar, when I came back to my home page and looked and I do mean looked at my picture of Mr Gab and myself. Its true what they say. The longer your married the more you look like each other. And by looking at that picture we do look like each other. Is that good or bad? It's almost like looking at (omg choke....)my brother. I love my brother don't get me wrong but I don't want to be married to him!
The thoughts that are going through my mind right now are not the stuff I want to be thinking, especially with my brother. Does this mean I need a new husband or brother? LMBO. Actually I think I'll keep them both. You know the saying I finally got him trained right why would I want to start over? Well that applys here too. 35 years and Ive got him just the way I want him. And as for my brother...........dont want to change him either.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

What the hell are they teaching our kids?

I AM NOT one of these grandma's who sit the kids in front of the tv. I do have the tv on through out the day (mainly for background noise), but little man has started to demand certain shows every day and he really throws one hell'va fit if he can't watch them. So I have been turning on these shows and let him watch them. BUT yesterday I sat with him and watched those shows.
Show 1) The adventures of Dora. A little girl with her pet monkey look for missing items using a map and a backpack. First thing grandson says is he wants a monkey. I say ok I will buy you a stuffed monkey. He throws a fit he wants one that talks! Are you kidding me?
Show 2) Go Diego Go. A little boy with his baby jaguar helping other animals outta trouble. OK PLEEEAAAASSSSEEEEE eveyone knows you cant have a Jaguar as a pet baby or otherwise. Everyone that is except a 2 year old.
Show 3) Spongebob Squarepants. I dont even want to go there.

So now what I try to do is find a movie that is more for his age and when he starts to yell that he wants to watch these shows I say naw lets find a movie. He yells eggo alot (meaning diego) for both dora and diego but I try to stay strong and stick with watching a movie. He does like movies and he does yell for certain movies but right now I would rather hear him yell for those movies than "eggo"
And those shows? I plan on writing a letter to all of them. I know it won't do much but I want them to know just why we wont be watching their shows.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Oh my I lost a whole day

warning very graphic. If to much information bothers you don't read skip down to where I go to ER.

Ok so it all started Monday when I had to start prepping for my colonoscopy. You know this is the day you start by all liquid diet and drinking that horrible stuff? Ok so I start with the first stuff and I was doing ok till I got about half drank then all of a sudden it started to come back up. It says in their little brochure that if you feel like puking stop for 15-30 mins rinse out your mouth with water and start again. After 30 minutes I took another drink and didn't even hardly get it swallowed and was off and running. SO I figured that because all I had was water coming out the other end so I figured I didn't need to finish this as it was just coming back up any ways. The next step was to drink this other stuff 4 hrs before test. Well I was scheduled to go in at 6:45am Tues morning which meant that I needed to get up around 2:30am to drink this stuff. SO I set my alarm as Mr Gab had to work the over night shift again. I get up at 2:30 and start to drink this stuff. I got an instant headache. I drank it then went back to bed only to jump up about 15 mins later to rush to the bathroom to puke that crap up. I just hoped and prayed enough was in my system that they could still do the test. I got back up at 5am took my shower got dressed and waited For Mr Gab to get ready to take me. We got over there and I checked in telling her about bringing everything back up and she said to tell the nurse when they took me back. I went to sit down to wait and next thing I knew I was in their bathroom puking. OMG is this ever gonna quit!? The nurse finally came and got me put me in a room and asked me all kinds of questions. I answered then told her about me not keeping the stuff down and that I had a bad headache. She thought the procedure could still be done. SO they took me back. During the procedure they kept telling me to look. I tried to watch as much as possible but I kept falling asleep. Finally I was done and she pronounced me A-OK. I didn't need to come back for 5 years.
I got home and slept some around noon I woke up enough to eat a bowl of cereal and take my regular pills, I still had a bad headache so I took the new pill that the doctor wanted me to try. Well that didn't last long almost as soon as I took it I was back in bathroom puking again! About 1:30pm I texted daughter and told her to come get me and take me to the ER.

We got to the ER around 2:30 and I had to wait almost 2 hours in waiting room. When they finally came in to see me they got all information of what I did that day and the doctor said yes the colonoscopy can throw your system off and cause a headache, and because I suffer from Migraines that just made it worse. So they said they would set me up with same 4 combination as last time. I waited another 50 mins before they got to me to give me drugs then almost another 2 hours before I got let go to go home. I left the hospital somewhere after 7pm. Poor Mr Gab was trying to get sleep to go to work last night. and here he had to watch the boys. Well all except the baby. Daughter had him with. He did ok till about the last 2 hours then he got really loud and cranky. But by then I was pretty out of it.

Today I just couldn't seem to wake up. I tried to get up several times but my eyes were so heavy that I just fell back to sleep. I don't remember waking up oldest grandson and asking him to feed the cats for me. I barely remember daughter dropping off youngest two boys. And I don't even have a clue when Mr Gab took second oldest grandson to school and did he leave youngest two with me? Good question cause I don't know.

Now tonight I was talking to cousin to learn another cousin had passed away tonight at about 7pm Calif time. I hardly know him but yet it hit like a ton of bricks, and I cried. Another family member passed because of cancer.

Ive known for years that our family has a long history of cancer and that it runs highly Strong in our family which is why I get the colonoscopy done when needed and I do pretty much do the mammograms because I know these are the main two for most of the family! I try to stay one step ahead if possible. Cause if I'm gonna get it I want to know asap so hopefully they can do something about it before it gets too bad. I know though that if I'm gonna die I'm gonna die but if there is a chance of putting that off I wanna do it.

So there you have it. I have one more test and thats just a sleep test to see if I have sleep apnea.
So good news is so far all my tests have come back normal. Whew load off my chest!

Saturday, May 09, 2009

OMG The Pain of it all.

Well, for quite awhile I've been having several teeth bothering me. But Weds night it started to really get annoying. Thursday I had a meeting for my handicapped sister (her annual 6 months report) When I got up Thursday morning the first thing I noticed was that my mouth hurt so badly that I wasn't sure where or what tooth was hurting. So after taking my shower and getting ready to go I grabbed the number for the dentist office. I used my cell as I was running out the door. Now mind you just about everyone in our family has been to this dentist office but me. (we didn't like the last one so we just didn't return) Our daughter had gone there first from a recommendation of her girlfriend who also works with her. She had also taken 3 of the 4 boys there. Then Mr Gab needed to go so daughter said try this dentist. So I called and made an appointment for Mr Gab. Couple weeks ago youngest son text ed me complaining about his teeth hurting. He didn't have a dentist so I said use ours. He asked me to call. SO I did, I set him up for his appointment. So finally on Thursday it was my turn. I told them I was heading out right that minute for my meeting and I wasn't sure when Id be home so I wanted it for Monday. Well she asked me how bad was it? OMG ARE YOU KIDDING? You really have to understand me. I HATE DENTIST! And will do anything to avoid going. Even if it means my teeth not looking their whitest, or hurting so bad that I gotta go no matter what. I had a very bad experience when I was a teen. The dentist had two files on his counter and he "glanced" at one thinking that it was mine and pulled a tooth that didn't need to be pulled and he had not given me Novocaine, because that person didn't like Novocaine used. So right then I disliked dentist no matter how good they really were.
Anyways the last dentist I went to said that at least tooth was gonna need a root canal done, so I kinda knew that I would probably need it done sooner or later. As it turned out the dentist had an opening at 2:30 that afternoon so if I got back in time I was to come in. Well, I was back in plenty of time.
And yes I needed a root canal done. And did I have time to have it done? Well DUH! I HURT! So he set me up to do it right then and there. BUT and oh do I mean but he got started and first thing he said was WTH. I'm pretty sure he was thinking WTF but you know he was being polite. I sat there wondering what was wrong. He kept going and every now and again he would mumble something. Finally after awhile he said we were done with everything but the build up for the crown. While I was waiting he finally informed me that when he started the top of the gum was black and kinda hard to work on. But once he got by the black it opened up and went easier the rest of the way. He said the cause of the black must have been the last dentist I went to must have started a root canal but stopped for some reason. Then he also told me that I had infection deep in the bone. (DAMN NO WONDER IT HURT). I don't remember the last dentist starting a root canal but I know he opened that tooth and put in medication as it was infected.
As of today it still hurts as badly as it did before he started. But Mr Gab told me it would be Monday before I didn't hurt. I am taking the pain pills and the antibiotics and once in awhile a tear or two rolls down my cheeks but other wise I'm hanging in.

Sunday, May 03, 2009

I've finally did it!

Yes after all this time I've finally did it! I've started writing a book. I've already gotten the title, the dedication page and the first chapter done. But the first chapter was about 4 pages long double spaced. SO what do I do? Single space? Write more words? Well, I set it aside for a day and decided to not actually set any thing into chapters as of yet. I'm just gonna put the words down. If and when I do try to publish it I will then figure out where chapters should be. But as for now I'm busy putting words down. (this is where one would normally say down on paper, but I am using my computer as my hand writing is getting so bad what with the arthritis and I never did have great penmanship.) Not only that but I can use spell check! Then I know for sure that what I want to convey will be correct. I've choosen a subject that I know alot about. At first I wanted to write a western romance book, but then thought I know more about cats than I do about romance.(well,ok not really) So I thought that I would pull all the years of experance of owning cats and put it into a book. I will have "tales" "training" and memories all put down on computer disc and then one day I may turn it into a book.
So be watching the next thing I may tell you is that my book has been published!