No, I do NOT have the answers...Ask God

The other night my friend and I got into a heated discussion. She claimed that all people are born perfect and that we ruin our lives by the way we eat and live.
I said how do you explain the babies that have birth defects? Or the ones who have problems when they are born?
She said it is the fault of the parents. God made us all perfect in his eye and if there is a problem it is the parents fault.
I don't agree. I don't think parent can stop birth defects, I don't believe that parents have the choice to have a child that has cerebral palsy or downs syndrome. I also don't believe they choose for their baby to have a cleft mouth. nor twins born connected. or any of the millions of things that happen to babies who have millions of different problems when born and not perfect.
She claims it's the way they (the parents) live. She says if they don't live the pure life god wishes them to live then god will not bless them with a perfect child.
I said I know way to many people who lived a terrible, fast and bad lives and they have perfect children so that can't hold true.
She said sure they are born looking perfect but they will mess up in life and be a bad person and that will prove they are NOT perfect in god's eye. She said look at all the kids who look perfect as a baby and little kids and maybe even young adults. Then look at those same kids as they get older now they are suffering from ailments and its because they are not perfect. God gave them those ailments later in life to prove they didn't listen to him.
I gave up.
You all know why. I DID NOT GO TO CHURCH I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT GOD!
What she said could very well be true. All I know for sure is she is not perfect. to me she has a black heart.