Hey every one how are you today? Me I've got a cold that just won't quit!
But that is not the reason for this post.
First I ask a question, Have you ever had someone whom you loved that has passed? A mom, dad, sister, brother, wife, husband? or any other loved one?
Do you celebrate their birthdays after they are gone? No I don't mean a big fancy party or anything like that. Maybe just a quiet meal with other family members where you talk about old times good and bad? Or do you just remember in your own way by yourself?
Well, that's what I did on Friday. I did a post but I didn't mention that it was my mom's birthday on Friday and if she was alive she'd be celebrating 76 years. Its still hard for me to believe that our mom is gone. She only got to see her first great grandson for a whole year before she passed. But during that year she was so sick that I know she didn't get to enjoy any special time with him. At the same time my youngest sister had had her third child a daughter who was born 4 months before my grandson. So here she had two new members a new granddaughter and a great grandson and she was very sick. I know she tried in that last year to be a little part of their lives even though they were really to young to remember it. But it was hard for her to. Knowing as she did that she had lots to live for but that she wasn't going to make it. My daughter T was her only granddaughter for the longest time and now she finally had a second granddaughter. And her oldest granddaughter gave her her first great grandchild!
The thing is Friday was her birthday and yes I was busy with my life and grand kids and yes I remembered it I just wanted it to be a quiet day that was just for me to remember some of the things that I shared with my mom. Silly things, stupid things and OMG did I just do that, whats mom gonna say?
So I let the day pass quietly and did my own thing and thought of my mom all day long, and decided that I would post a little about her later when I was all done having her to myself(in a sense that day)as Im sure my sisters also had her in their thoughts that day too, as well as the rest of our family probably did.
It's really hard to say good bye to the ones you love especially when taken so young. And it makes it even harder when it happens around the holidays. I have vowed every year to try and keep traditions going and every year it gets harder and harder to do. Its to the point where I no longer want to even cook the Thanksgiving meal or the Christmas meal. It's like I would rather just take the time to be with my family so that one day they dont have to say I wish I had spent more time with mom/grandma at Thanksgiving/Christmas rather that her cooking and I come eat and go. Today I sit and think why is it so important to make a big holiday meal just to get family together and talk and maybe even disagree some and then go away till the next holiday? We are to busy in the kitchen preparing this big ole meal, then we are in the kitchen cleaning up and where or where did the time go? Why dont we have just a simple meal and then spend the rest of the day together and make memories?
But I know already I will be in the kitchen making that meal and sharing some family time.