Going back

Mr Gab is trying to plan another trip back to South Dakota to tear more of our house down. If we get one more section down before winter sets in well I guess it will make us feel better although I dont know why it would. This whole thing sure has me down in the dumps. I wish we could turn the clock back I wish we did things different. I wish I wish I wish............
Do wishes ever come true?
So if we do sell say the farm to rebuild the house at least what I want for a house is agreeable to Mr Gab. I am not changing much from the old house to the new rebuilt house.I want the back porch and kitchen and dining room to be the same. BUT instead of the office and bathroom and little bedroom well that's where the change comes in. I want to take where the little bedroom is and make that all into master closet and master bath room. Where the bathroom is I want to just have a half bath. and where the office is well that's where the guest bedroom will be. Then I want to add a upstairs area with a bath and bedroom. I also want a full basement under the house instead of a crawl space. and I WANT THE LAUNDRY ROOM TO BE EITHER IN THE KITCHEN OR BACK PORCH AND I WANT THE BACK PORCH HEATED!!!!
When our back porch was our laundry room before we had to have a heater on the floor out there to warm it up in the winter time. mainly so the Hot water heater didn't freeze. and it worked pretty well but there were some winters that even with that heater and me wearing boots out there to wash clothes it got cold lol.
ok ok I didn't wear boots it was slippers but hey you get the picture right? oh the good old days!
when they took off the screen door I had visions of kittens jumping through the top half where there was no screen (whole nother story) to get into the porch and cry for me to feed them. One of those kittens was Pumpkin. Another vision (which wasn't really a good one) was up at my father in laws house, he had the same kind of door and it slammed in the same manner making the same kinda "Bang" (which made me happy and I want Mr Gab to put that screen door back on the new house to which he answered no way in hell) Of us going in and out of his front porch and the screen door slamming kittens following us into the house (if they could get all the way into the house with out dad chasing them back out) Then came the tragedy......I went inside a kitten followed me and the door slammed before he got in and its back got broken. Oh the cries of that tiny kitten it will haunt me forever. Dad told Mr Gab's brother to take it out back and finish it off. I ran out into our tent trailer and fell onto the bed crying. That kitten was following me because I had been petting it and now its life was over. I was so upset. Our dog Lady crawled up onto the bed with me and laid there with me trying to cheer me up. She knew I was hurting. Mr Gab came back out to talk to me and said things happened it was just the way of life and it could have been any one who that kitten had followed. It didn't help much even though I knew it was true. But I was hoping to take that kitten home with us. I did "get" over it as best as you can in that situation and I did find a kitten to take home with us that weekend. But still it was a vision I had that day as they took off that screen door. Jeremy kept walking over to me saying why why would you tear down something where you have so many memories? I would look at him and say we don't have much of a choice now do we? So with all that in mind Mr Gab will probably be going with just the two older grandsons back to work more on the house. I just don't think I can take watching more of our memories flash through my head.