Tuesday, April 01, 2008


Daddy's little girl....we have all heard that saying. The apple of her daddy's eye. I have always wondered about that saying.In our house hold my oldest sister was daddy's little girl until her mom divorced my dad. Then it was me and my youngest sister to some extent. But the one who was daddy's little girl was our sister D.Dad spoiled her endlessly. He's always told us you girls can run and play she can't. Now its her 3 year old mind locked in a 48 year old body.and dad still spoils her and will until he passes.But I always wondered about other families who had more than one daughter. How did their dad choose? I have a friend C who has 7 daughters. I joked with him one day about it. And he said well honestly they all have their day. He said daughter 1, 3, 5, &7 have Monday, weds, Friday and Sunday respectively daughters 2, 4, 6 Have Tues, Thurs and sat. respectively and each girl knows this and don't hone in on their sisters day. Then he laughed and said thank god he didn't have any more girls because he ran outta days of the week. Then he told me seriously that he really felt like he was missing something by not having a son.Another friend of mine who had 3 daughters said his second born was his favorite because she almost died. He said he tried really hard not to show the other two but he thinks they knew it.So how do dad's do it? Do they have their favorites? Of course I'm sure they do. The worse part of course is when the dad knows his daughter is doing wrong and he turns a blind eye to his little girl. She could be 8 or 30 but he cant admit that his little girl could be wrong.But what about the daughter? She looks at her dad with the knight in shining armor hero. So what does she think or do when her dad isn't so perfect? What if her dad tried to rape a family member(or actually did)? How does she feel? Does she even know? Or is it one of those things where every one says the person who was raped is making it up? What if daddy drinks to much? Does she think differently about her dad then?But what if he drinks and then drives and kills someone? Is he still her knight in shining armor?Or what if daddy is sick and doesn't take care of himself properly? Does she say oh well he's a grown man? What can I do? The road runs both directions. If daddy doesn't care enough to say to his daughter your wrong and you need to step up and admit that your wrong, the daughter will never step up and say dad you really need to take better care of yourself. (or stop drinking or get treatment for sexual abuse)Now adays though most kids who are abused by a family member can go somewhere to get help. Back a few years ago like when I was a kid, most of the time when they told someone it was pushed aside not talked about. Or the girl was never left alone with that family member again But the most likely thing was they never believed the person who was raped. Because it was more than likely something that was made up according to the adults. Who covered stuff up like that all the time. It's just the way stuff was and is done.


barman said...

That is a toughy. Even for me I look at my Dad and see he is not perfect but I try to accept that as no one is perfect. Still people are afraid to rock the boat. I know it is hard telling people what they do not want to hear but it is for the best.

I can not even imagine going through what you speak of. I know that split up a friend I know from her Mom because she would not believe her that the Uncle or family friend (forget which) was doing that to her. What a sad thing but at least now she is in a loving family (her husbands side of the family) and dealing with the past. As I said, I can not even imagine. So sorry to hear that.

As to favorites I think parents really need to go out of their way not to play favorites. It just is not fair. I know my Grandma really favored me and it hurt my Sister deeply. I did not find that out until just this past week. Of course in the case of my one niece she is the favorite. Of course she is an only child... :)

G-Man said...

I try not to play favorites, but nyou always take the path of LEAST resistence!

I'm glad Mr. Gab is doing OK...G

Walker said...

I like to think i treat both of mine equally.
I don;t think it's a matter of who is favorite but who I spend more time with.
My youngest and I have more things we both like in common so we spend more time together.